celebrating life

There are no words. Life is short. Life is unfair. But its about celebrating what we have. Its about sucking each day to the fullest and enjoying each and every moment that is given to you.

A family that we know are currently cherishing the last moments they will have with their Father, Husband, Son, Uncle, Cousin, Friend. Cancer has taken the better of him, and he will leave behind his 2 young girls, wife and family. All before the age of 45.

It seems lately so many young people have left this world far to early. They have been robbed of a life we dream and hope for. They have been taken from us before we have ever expected. Before we ever imagined. Whether is be heart disease, cancer, or a fatal accident life has been swept under their feet and taken too soon.

I find that each time I hear about a young person loosing their life, or know someone that has my heart breaks. My mind races. I sit in awe. I sit in silence. The air is still. There are no words. No one deserves this. Everyone should be given the opportunity to grow old. To live a life. To share their hopes and dreams. To accomplish goals. To live the life we all imagined.

But as each person enters the gates into Heaven, I also am reminded of how each and everyday is a gift. That each day I wake up I am lucky. fortunate. Each day I reminded to breath, to live, to take each moment and enjoy. I never know when life can be taken from me. I never know when someone I love, life's will be taken from me.

So to all- hug your family members. Tell your parents, children, siblings, nieces, nephews, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc that you love them. Do not take them for granted. If you have a problem, work it out, nothing is that important. Don't worry if the house is tidy, laundry is done or theirs a stain on your floor. It just doesn't matter. Be with the ones you love, because you just never know when it could all change.

And on that note- Mom and Dad, Tara, Rob, Grant, Hugh, Patti, Amanda, Morgan, Joe and Jack. Aunt Nida, Uncle Grant, William, Joanna and Victoria. Extended cousins, Neighbourhood, High school and University friends, Churchies, Special Families, and anyone else that I could possibly forget--I love you. Thank you for all you do. I wish I could call up every person that has a place in my heart and bring you all together in one big room. It would be a room full of love. A room full of celebration. It would be a room full of the young and old, and everywhere in between. There would be music, smiles and laughter. There would be pictures taken, hugs shared, and a whole lot of memories built. It would be one big celebration to life.

Cheers! xo

feeling alive.

ahh. it's so good to be alive.

i have started a new life.

i have changed who i am.

i have control.

i am in power.

i am confident.

i am lucky for the support that surrounds me.

i have the power to create change.

i have motivation.

my blood is streaming through my body.

pumping energy to every ounce of my being.

it's a new me.

i am happy.

i feel alive.

i have welcomed new words to my dictionary.

i have embraced new articles in my wardrobe.

i have added a new activity to my schedule.

i have a fresh new beginning

i am diving into new waters.

i feel fabulous.

it is week 3.

week 3 of a new lifestyle.

of change.

to build confidence.

to create change.

a healthy, new me.

i can do this.

i am doing this.

i am proud.

i feel vibrant.

i feel strong.

i feel alive.

A retirement home?

To be honest, I'm scared. Not really sure where life is taking me. Im on a path with an unknown destination. I feel like I go to school. work. swim. eat. sleep. and repeat. Its a cycle. A cycle that is suppose to get me somewhere. I am just not sure where.

In seminar today we were asked to share our name, and why we were in Child and Youth Studies. We were also asked what our vision is for the future. I couldn't answer. My answer would be far far to long. Way to long for anyone to ever want to hear. So what did I say? I said I was in Child and Youth Studies and hope someday to work with children. So generic. So boring. I didn't even begin to get into my emotions, why I was there...Why I am here?...To hell if I know.

My dream since I was in grade school was to be a JK/SK teacher. To give students the best experience of their entire life and start their educational experience with positive energy, support, and fun. I imagined how my classroom would be set up, what would be on my bulletin boards, what morning songs we would sing, and how we would celebrate my students birthdays. I have thought of this job since the beginning of my time. And to be honest, I think my heart is still in a classroom....

But I came to University. Im here. Not in education. I don't have the marks to be in education. I know that the job market is low. I know that teachers are graduating and spending years working in daycare centres, or at Canadian Tire waiting for a job. waiting to be placed on the supply list. Waiting.

So I have thought of Child Life Specialist. Working with children who are suffering injury, diseases, in hospital because of surgery, and in need of support, care, compassion and friendship. The job sounds so perfect. I can go home to my family knowing that theses kids are cared for. I know there will be children that don't make it, and yes, that will be hard, but I can say in my head "at least I made a difference". So this job sounds so perfect. It's a government job too. But it requires more schooling. More stuff I don't want to do. More money I don't want to spend. You get the point.

So what am I doing? I DONT KNOW!?

My TA then looked at me and asked "what's stirring in your head"-- I laughed. Burst into laughter. Clearly it's a sign my face says it all. Clearly I wear my emotions on my sleeve. But what was I going to say? I can't ramble on about my life? Could I? Its a seminar...people don't want to hear about that.

My answer: "To be honest, I'm scared. Not really sure where life is taking me. Im on a path with an unknown destination. I feel like I go to school. work. swim. eat. sleep. and repeat. Its a cycle. A cycle that is suppose to get me somewhere. I am just not sure where. I think I want to work in a retirement home"

A RETIREMENT HOME?!?!

WHAT?

Yep- trust me that's what I was thinking. Where did this come from? But all day, that's what I have been thinking about. Working in a retirement home. Working as the event coordinator, activities coordinator. Working as a lay minister. All within a retirement home. Elders are much like children. They seek compassion, care, understanding and support. Many are in need of acceptance and love. I could do this. Maybe working in a retirement home would allow me to come home to my 'future family' and appreciate them that much more. To see the cycle of life everyday and to not let a minute go by. To really appreciate the essence of life. And trust me, there are many job opportunities popping up.

Who knows where this path is taking me. Working with the young or working with the old. All I know is, Im looking for the path to take me somewhere.

It Takes a Village

There is something about community that I long for. That stirs deep in my soul. That captures my essence. My whole being. Community that brings out the best in me. That allows my heart to rupture through my skin and show the world who's inside. I long for the community where I can share. listen. reflect. be.

I had this community, and they were a huge part of my life. They were my life. Each individual placed a special role within the group. When one person was missing our puzzle was incomplete. We helped shape and form one another. We listened. shared. reflected. We danced. laughed. supported. We travelled. joked. hung out. We did it all together. Together as a community.

I am not saying that I don't have a community here at school nor at home. Heck, I have the best community here any girl could ask for. We are a village, and as the song goes 'it takes a whole village to raise our children', I just alter it and say 'it takes a whole village to pass a student'. Without the means of community here I wouldn't be passing. I would have no motivation. My community of people surrounding me have helped bring out the best in me. They have helped me become the young woman that I am today. We listen. share. reflect. We dance. laugh. support. We travel. joke. hang out. We do it all together.

But there is a difference. A difference between the two communities. The two villages. A difference that really may only matter to me. But it is the small part in which I long for. I long for the community in which I had, where I was able to share my faith. In where I could be open about my faith journey, my beliefs in God, and the many things that stirred my mind. Where I could question, ask and explore and not be judged.

I miss that. I miss them. I miss my little village.

~The sun does not forget a village just because its small~

Fresh.

Some inspirational thoughts as I begin another school term with a flashback of some of my favourite 2010 pictures:

Never cut what can be untied

Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all they have

Focus on making things better, not bigger

Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday

Think big thoughts, but relish small pleasures

Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know

Judge your success by the degree that you're enjoying peace, health and love.

Learn to listen. Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them

To my family and friends, readers and followers: Thank you for being with me throughout 2010 and for the continued support as I trek through this University degree. I appreciate all you do, all you say, all you are. Much love. Cheers to another year!

The end of the world...as we know it

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine!

For some reason tonight that is the song that is stuck in my head. At this moment I can’t even remember who sings it, but that phrase has been playing over and over, and over!

It is the start of a new year, with new beginnings, new hopes for the future, and plans for today. But the end of the world? Let’s hope not. We are getting closer to 2012 where predictions have been made that the world is going to explode, where aliens are going to take over, where we are going to run out of fresh water…you know…all that gargle and baloney we hear on the radio and tv and read in our newspaper and magazines. In my mind it is all crap. Sorry to use that word, but no other word really describes what I think of it all. Nonsense, gibberish, stupid, untrue—none of those words really emphasize it as much as it needs to be. Its crap. The world will carry on, just in new ways, with new people, new advancements, different diagnoses, and with each change there will be positives and negatives…but we will carry on. Okay so yes, it is the end of the world as we know it, each day is ‘the end of the world’ because more often then not we learn at least one new thing a day, so I guess that does change the world ‘as we know it’. Maybe? Who knows?

Moral of the story- I need to listen to the full song and find out what it really is about.

However- I do feel fine! Why, I feel more then fine. That’s a crappy describing word. I feel Wonderful. Fabulous. Overjoyed. Excited. Astonished. Hopeful. Radiant. Delighted. Enchanted. Surprised. Flabbergasted. Amazed. Great. Magnificent. You name it, I feel it! (as long as it’s a positive feeling)

And it’s not because my holidays are fabulous and I am excited for this upcoming school term. I didn’t just win the lottery and someone didn’t just have a baby. It’s not because my boss announced her engagement, or my brother finally graduated University. However those are all great, wonderful, exciting things.

BUT…

THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS HAVE WON 2 GAMES IN A ROW!!!!

With the game on Thursday night leading to shootout, and last nights domination against the Thrashers with a 9-3 win…The Leafs are on fire!

For all we know it may be the ‘end of the world as we know it’ and the Leaf’s feel fine!

Go Leaf’s Go!

Relaxed Christmas...who would'a thought?

For the first time in my life we packed our bags and headed up north to my Aunt and Uncle's for Christmas. Not knowing what to expect, what new traditions we would experience or how the holiday would unfold I was eager to set sail and let the journey begin.

Christmas is always a time of go. go. go. I feel like I am always rushed from one thing to another. To ripping open gifts and cleaning up. Making beds and showering. Quickly eating breakfast in anticipation for family to arrive. Then helping in the kitchen. Setting the tables. Dishing out food and then washing dishes. Kids screaming to open more presents. Paper flying. Doorbells ringing. Packing up. Sad goodbyes. Flop in to bed. Exhausted ready to do it all over again. Since I have grown up I never have really enjoyed Christmas. Enjoyed it for what it's really meant to be. This year was different. In the best possible way ever!

Christmas 2010 was relaxing. There was no rush. No go. go . go. We stayed in our pj's till mid afternoon. Drank tea and hot chocolate as we watched the snowflakes fall. We curled together as family playing games, laughing, and enjoying one another's company. We took our time opening gifts admiring the thought and effort that was taken into each present. We gathered around the table, sharing in a meal and in the evening all gathered around to watch movies. Warm and cozy. Relaxed. Together.

(my camera needs to get fixed, as you can tell, but theses are the only ones from Christmas so I must make due)

And on the 28th we did it all over again with my siblings and their families.

With my nieces and nephews gather, brothers and sister. We enjoyed an afternoon at home together.

There was something about this Christmas that had me tickled pink.

A Year in Review

I always find it so rewarding to go through my dozens of albums and take a look at my past year. I find it so interesting to see how we have changed, remember the moments that brought us closer together, and give thanks for the wonderful year that I had.

So a year in review.

January: Got back to the grind of school. Applying for jobs. Kristi came to visit. We found our house for 3rd year.

February: The Olympics were huge and gave us the opportunity to really celebrate our country. House pranks began. Reading week. A break down of technology.

March: I felt like I was at home more then I was at school. March Break Camp. Ear's pierced. Lots of visiting to babysitting families. Celebrations of birthdays. Final projects

April: The packing begins. Final exams. Easter at the Peluso's. Last parties for 2nd year. A trip to Niagara Falls to celebrate.

May: Moving. Start of my summer adventure with Alex. Summer pedicures begin. London Conference.

June: A trip to my haven. A visit with Steph and Jaclyn. My love for Alex was multiplying. Garden Centre was opening. Spending time with my nieces.

July: Celebrations and trips galore! Canada Day. Jessica came down for a visit. Ribfest. Birthday celebrations. Shopping in the states and a trip to Jaclyn's. Cottage trip

August: A trip to Toronto. Doggy daycare. Starting to pack. Garden centre closed. Final days with Alex. Start of a new job.

September: Training. Sister turns 40! Frosh week. Everyone moves in. Hockey night. Jaclyn and Steph's birthdays. Homecoming at Guelph.

October: Brock's 1st Ever Homecoming! Thanksgiving. Massage. Jodi's Graduation. Grant's final football game. Halloween.

November: Carrie Underwood. Matt, Paul and Alex visit. Fall Preview day. Final projects. Late nights. Trip out west.

December: Christmas celebrations. Final exams. Country night 2010. Kid's Christmas Sleepover at Curry's. Resign Canadian Tire. New Years Eve

Oh what a year. What a fabulous, blessed, exciting year.