Smiling

Today was exactly what this Christmas lovin' baby huggin' slackin' student needed--and I am smiling ear to ear.

As a student I struggle to find the spirit of Christmas, as exams, final papers, and deadlines surround me. I put up Christmas lights and decorations, listen to Christmas music in my room (as my housemates don’t want to hear it), and try to find the spirit. But it's hard. Christmas should be such an exciting, blessed time of year, that is filled with so much joy--but where is the excitement and joy in essays and exams?

This past week I turned on my Christmas lights in my room, scooped myself a bowl of Chocolate peppermint icecream, snuggled in my winter jammies and watched 'It's a Wonderful Life'. It started to feel like Christmas. I was happy, I was smiling, but I still didn't feel that spirit.

But today. Today I found it. I found the spirit of Christmas and it was bundled up in 6 little elves as we made our way to the Santa Clause Parade. As much as I don’t like the commercialization of Christmas--I sure love a good Santa Clause Parade, and today I enjoyed it with6 of my little friends, Alex, Grace, Iain, JD, Jonah, and Shannon. Theywere all so happy, giddy with excitement and after months of not seeing eachother wererunning in for hugs and kisses. I was happy. I was smiling. I felt that spirit.

There was something so special about the parade today that gave me shivers down my spine, and it wasn't just the cold. As I was standing at the side of the road, listening to the cheers of the crowd, and watching the children peek from their blankets; I realized I was surrounded by some of the most important people in my life. I was surrounded by the ones I love, by babies that I have cradled and watched grow, and friends that have turned into family. We were all huddled together, gathering candy canes that were thrown from the floats, zipping up coats to stay warm, dancing to the music, and kissing cheeks to the ones we love. There was Christmas spirit at the side of the road with the ones that I love and that made me smile from ear to ear.

The day continued to fill me with Christmas spirit as I laid down for a nap and listened to Christmas carols, and as we gathered with our church friends to enjoy a Christmas Turkey Dinner. Although we joked that the dinner would be far more entertaining if we had a glass of wine (or two, or three), there was still so much warmth spread around that filled me with Christmas cheer.

(Hazel is my saint. I absolutely love this lady- sweetest person you will ever meet. I am so lucky to have her in my life)

So my little getaway to Home Sweet Home filled me with lots ofChristmas spirit and now its just a matter of will that spirit carry with me? One more essay to complete, a take home exam, and two final exams, and I will be done for 2010! Let's just hope the Christmas spirit stays so I can be wearing my smile from ear to ear.

Alone, and loving it

I am loving that tonight I have dedicated to me, just me, alone, peace, quiet, me. I never thought I would say that I like being alone. I actually don't like any part of that sentence. I love people. I am an extrovert through and through and love surrounding myself with others. Whether it be my beloved family or friends, children, elders, individuals that are new to my life, or individuals that I have known a lifetime, I love the interaction. I love sharing in conversation, creating memories, and sharing the experience of life with others. Yep I love people.

But tonight, tonight was dedicated to me, just me. I am alone, and for some reason loving it. I came back to my hotel room after a drink or two with a new friend, and drew myself a bath. Eww a bath in a hotel room, trust me I was thinking the same thing, but I couldn't stop myself. The bathtub is HUGE, and sparkling clean, and smells like bleach. So I stuck with my instincts, hoped it was actually clean, and hopped in. It was so warm, the bubbles were in abundance and I just soaked as I listened to some Carrie Underwood. I had to reheat the bath water at least 3 times, as I laid there and let my mind wander.

When I finished, I snuggled in my pyjama's and now here I am curled up in this big comfy hotel bed, with a cup of tea by my side. I have the curtains open so I can watch the snowflakes dance in the sky and listen to the sound of the snowblowers go by. I am alone.

Today was a day of listening. A day where my ears did more work than any other part of my body. They listened to the stories from the Aboriginal Peoples regarding their experience of Aboriginal Residential Schools. I heard visions of how we can walk in Right Relations. I heard stories of hope and faith, sadness and pain. I did a lot of listening today and I know I was not the only one. There were many more people who were part of the circle that listened. We heard. We were not alone.

The chalice that was brought to the first Aboriginal Right Relations conference in 2008 broke during its travels, and for some reason that broken chalice has been carefully brought to each conference since. It sits in the centre of the medicine wheel as a sign that we are broken people. That to this day, there is so much discrimination, racism, negativity towards minority groups, judgment, hurt, pain, and suffering within our world; within our communities. But together we can piece back that chalice. We can heal. We can come together to share, to pray and to hold one another in spirit. We can slowly work together to become whole again. To walk together in relationship. We are not alone.

Tomorrow Dad celebrates his 65 birthday. Friends from near and far will gather with the family to help celebrate such a occasion. They will laugh and tell stories of the past. They will share hopes and dreams for the future. They will play birthday games and sing the famous Birthday song. Candles will be blown, presents will be opened and Dad will be treated like royalty. Sadly I won't be in attendance, but I know, Dad will not be alone.

So tonight, as I choose to be alone, I am taking the time to reflect and have some 'me time'. To enjoy the sounds that often go unnoticed. To relax and soak my feet. To curl up in a ball and enjoy comfort and peace. It's not often that I am alone. Even now where I think I am, I know that someone up above is with me. But I am enjoying it. I am breathing it in. I am loving it.

Until then...

Xo

gettin' down to business

Well it's been awhile, so let's just get down to business.

A. My fuel ran out. I came to a stop and realized I needed to pick a path.Which path would it be? A path of completing a double Honours degree in Child and Youth Studies as well as Sociology- yet this path filled with stress and worry, not meeting goals andfeeling like a failure. This path with my head in a book, my hair pulled out, and not enjoyingwhat University life is all about? OR A path of completing just an Honours in Child and Youth Studies. (the word just is used lightly, as it's not just an honours, but it's not a double degree). A path where I would enjoy my school work and feel engaged. A path where I would be excited to attend lectures and seminars, do my readings, and write essay's. As well on that same path where school comes first, friends and social life, exploration and fun joins in too. Can you guess which one I took? Definitely the later of the two. And boy do I feel good.

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B. It's that time of year again. The time of year where the holly is hung, the tree's are decorated and lights aglow. The music dances in the background as friends, family and coworkers gather and share in the festivities of the season. It's the time of year where fresh baked goodies are in abundance, and families are cozied up in blankets by the fire. Oh the season of Christmas. Welcome back.

C. Neighbours are moving in next door. I never thought duplex housing would be an issue seen as I have never lived in one before, and the house that's attached to us has been empty since the summer. But man oh man, I think we are in for a challenge.The girls and I aren't the quietest of people. We like to have random dance parties as we prepare dinner. Weoften shout at the t.v. during a sporting game, or at each other for dramatic affect. And on weekends we like to enjoy the tunes as we prepare for a night out. I was so hoping we would have students beside us who could join in the fun, but as I look out the window and watch them unpack it looks like we have a middle age married couple...I'm keeping my fingers crossed though. It could be students parents. I'll keep you posted.

D. Essay's are done. For now anyway. In the past 2 weeks I have written 6 papers and my head was about to explode. I haven't been able to see my desk for the longest time I almost forgot what it looked like. Only 3 more papers for 2010 and I am jumping for joy.

E. "I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I wonder who it's from?" Yep! I got mail today and loved every minute of it :) My 'Wall of Love' is growing and makes me smile everytime I look at it. Thank you

F. I am headed home today, and heading out West tomorrow! My bag is packed, my carry on is ready, and I am pumped!!!

Until then...

Running dry

Between Carrie Underwood last Wednesday, and a visit from my one of my favourite families on Saturday, I thought I would have been fuelled for the week of craziness that lies ahead. This is not the case- my fuel is slowly running dry.

Carrie Underwood concert was absolutely amazing. We piled in the car on Wednesday and had a mini road trip to Oakville. There is something about a mid-week vacation that makes it that more enjoyable. It was just us girls. We left our work behind, forgot about the assignments that are highlighted on the calendar, and we left. We sang and laughed the whole way to Jaclyn's house, and were severed like royalty by Jaclyn's parents Linda and Mario. We drank and ate until it was time to leave, and then we piled in the car again to see Carrie Underwood at the ACC.

The concert was fabulous. It was just what I needed. A mini mid-week vacation. Sons of Silvia was the first band that opened, and then it was Billy Currington. Billy Currington was outstanding, and let me tell you- we rocked it.

Steph, Hillary, Allie and Jaclyn

But Carrie Underwood--no words. OUTSTANDING! The performance was just as good, if not better then her CD. Her voice is powerful, the lights, background, props, band--it was just wonderful. All so wonderful.

It was a perfect night out. A girls night out. A dancing, singing, loose your voice, forget about life--kind of night out. It was wonderful!

Steph, Steph, Hillary, Allie Jaclyn

The glory continued right through the weekend when on Saturday, Matt, Paul and Alex came down to visit! I missed them so much. After a summer of seeing them at least 4 times a week, to not seeing them for almost 12 weeks--I was ecstatic to have them come visit. I woke up at 6am that morning, that's how excited I was!!

I was so happy to have them come see where I live, see my school, and meet my roommates. It's such a wonderful feeling having such important people in my life, see and meet 'the other part of my life'. Matt, Paul and Alex know me at home home, they see me in my element of 'nannying', and Canadian Tire-ing. We have shared dinner together, crashed on the couch watching crap tv together, cried, laughed, danced, ate ice-cream, gone junking, tyke-talking...they know me at home home. But school life is so different. Different yet the same, and I was so pleased to be able to share that with them too.

It was so much fun watching Alex run around my house and explore, to crash in my room and chat about life. To joke and laugh with friends from home, and friends from school. I was fuelled.

I was also spoiled as they took me out of the house and down to Niagara Falls. We walked down by the Falls, and around Clifton Hill. Had lunch in the Rainforest, and then went for a ride on the Skywheel. Oh I was fuelled. My tank was overflowing.

And I thought my fuel would last for the rest of this upcoming week...but apparently not..I am running dry. I am beginning to realize that I am so ready for Christmas. That I need this semester to be over. I don't have a routine, my procrastination level has increased, and I don't even feel engaged in the work. My marks are not where I wish they were and I am starting to realize spring/summer school may be in store. I am on auto-pilot and my fuel is running dry.

For now I have assignments coming out of my derriere and a trip to think about. Let's just open this auto-pilot student doesn't crash.

I'll be back

It's been go, go, go!

I will be back.

Carrie Underwood was yesterday

Projects getting done

Matt, Alex and Paul are coming to visit this weekend

Fall Preview Day on Sunday.

I'll be back. Trust me.

Just give me a couple days.